Yet here I am.. 8 months pregnant.
The reality is I haven't always wanted kids, there was a long period where I thought, I would be perfectly happy being a successful business woman, I am good at it and I'm comfortable with it. Not to mention, you know that person that when a baby is in their near vicinity they can hardly contain their coo's and awe's and they are just waiting for the mom to say, "Wanna hold "it"?". That's not me. Never has been.
I didn't babysit when I was younger, and I would find excuses not to. I have an incredibly active imagination and one too many babysitting horror stories later I was too spooked to even put my name out there as an option? I mean… what if the call was coming from "inside the house?"
So, needless to say, when I got married it surprised me how quickly the baby bug hit me. Not only did I want a baby and I wanted a 1000 babies now. I move fast pretty much always, like when I decide I want my hair color changed, I make the soonest appointment with whoever will take me that night. Or when I met The Pal (my husband) I practically proposed to him on our second date- more on that later.
Fortunately, The Pal is the brains in this operation and with some reasoning we agreed to wait a good amount of time before we seriously considered bringing a babe into the world. We basically just enjoyed being "US" for a bit and I’m so grateful we did. But now, here I sit as I am officially two months away from the due date of this little man I think, how on earth did I get here? How did the time fly by?
I get absolutely giddy about this babe being here so soon and then have moments where I think... hold on... are we sure it's a good idea that I have a child? All I know, is I am able to love, unconditionally and forgiving to boot. I can be protective, while still allowing him to have good life experiences. Have I read all the latest parenting books? Nope. Taken a birthing class, read breastfeeding books or even have a birth plan in place? Nope. I feel clueless but confident at the same time. Mostly I will raise this Mr with my Pal to the best of our ability and for me that's good enough.
Have I changed? Will I coo when a baby is brought into the room? Probably not just any ol' baby... but when my baby makes his grand entrance into this world, I imagine things might be a little different this time.
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